Anal Girl And The Webcomic Of The Future

Inspired by the above clip and the (500) Days Of Summer trailer, Jing Xuan and I have begun to come up with mysterious new superheroes.

1. Anal Girl. Anal Girl is a superheroine whose name is often mistaken for the meaning with the sexual undertone. It is not. She is actually really neat and tidy and uses her dreaded Anal Beam to make people Neat. Her secret weaknesses are Super Nice Boy and possessing Secretly Fat Thighs.

2. The Waxer. The Waxer is a supervillainess who uses her electro-shock scented waxing strips to strip people of their hair. She collects the hair and displays them. She also sends them into apoplectic shock by zapping them with the strips first. Eventually becomes Friends with Anal Girl.

3. Super Nice Boy. Super Nice Boy is not really a superhero. He is Anal Girl's boyfriend and his 'superpower' is making her go weak at the knees. He is super nice and resembles Tom/Joseph Gordon-Levitt from aforementioned movie.

4. The Stripper. The Stripper wears sexy clothes and terrorises people with a giant pair of scissors. She likes to cut people into strips, and as such, she is the Stripper. Not much is known about the Stripper except she is extremely dangerous, and for some reason likes showing off her LV Panties "because they are branded". Wtf?

5. The Bearded Man. The Waxer's arch-enemy, who possesses a thick stock of beard which smells nasty and in which rats build nests in. He is a rat king of a sort, and is almost definitely Evil. Resistant to Scented Waxing Strips (TM).

***

That is all for now. Perhaps Anal Girl will eventually get a real name instead of having have to be referred to as AG all the time. SNB as well. Hm maybe it could even become a webcomic as awesome as ScaryGoRound. Oh well.

Rebuild Of Everything

Bookslut is an awesome amazing site, uncensored, blatant, and full of booky goodness. I am definitely using some of the great info I'm already getting from it to boost my intellect and general well being.

***

So we have a new lit teacher. I can't tell whether I really want TKY back or not, seeing as the first lesson has been an absolute bore. Ok, fine he knows his stuff and goes to oxford for his future career in law, but oh his stuff is so much more for the RA students and all that. Most of all, NOT GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. I mean, fine, I'm actually starting to see beyond the Capital Letters and Middle Age Angst, but it still isn't going to make my top literary merits list. Oh well. You know, if we were doing The Accidental, I would totally leap around and start raising my hand at every opportunity but, you can't have everything.

And no, I still haven't found 1984. Gawrsh darn, it's ebook time.

***

I really need a good laugh to drag me out of the dumps. Like how DMPs are cancelled and replaced with normal lessons (ARGH EOYS). Maybe I should watch Teeth, an actual indie movie with a blonde. A lethal blonde. Whose vagina has teeth.

It would be funny if I were a woman. Oh well.

(500) Days Of Summer

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT. IN IKEA. WITH ZOOEY DESCHANEL. LOVES.

***

I hope I do not squeal like the total fan that I am when we go watch the movie. People will turn around and Stare with utmost Contempt.

Ego Boosting

Sometimes, like today, when it feels like the weight of the world has descended upon my back with a resounding whap, I feel like breaking down and giving up. Ok, so nothing major actually happened, its just that I still have a bloody chinese zuowen to do and math to revise. Oh god, I really want to actually be able to finish my tuition homework for once as well, if only I didn't always leave it till saturday night when I fall asleep spontaneously before starting it. Argh.

I don't know. I really should stop going out with my parents for one thing. I have the feeling it breaks the flow of things.

It's like what someone recommended me last year; it's time to break out of these things and just let loose, get more freedom instead of being chained down by parents and stuff. I didn't really get it last year, but until I started actually making friends I go out with and stuff, it's finally starting to sink in and apply to me. I don't know, I do appreicate going out with my family every once in a while, but sometimes I really don't feel like it, even if I did say ok the previous day.

ANGST ANGST ANGST.

What I need to do when I feel like this is give myself an egoboost. And chocolate, but for now I suppose that nutrisoy with brown rice extract will have to do. It resembles chocolate milk. Vaguely.

I am so guilty for listening to Taylor Swift and not cringing. THE GODS OF INDIE (or whatever Indie there is left) are probably ANGRY at me. I am going to burn in Indie hell for this. Or alternatively, sing Love Story over and over again in Mainstream Heaven.

An ego boost goes something like this:

"I am the best person in the world and I damn well know it"
"I am not fat, I simply have Keira Knightley thighs, and that, as we know, it awesome"
"I have a nice face and can be bitchy to other people about it"
"I am perfect. So I can achieve anything I want if I try"

And so on. I say it out loud so it sounds better. I think this is why I love giving other people ego boosts too, because I say it as an example for them and in turn it raises my own ego.

I believe that big egos are heavier and therefore they take out more energy. No wonder I'm always tired. But if it were any smaller I'd collapse from constant depression. Oh yay me. I love my ego.

***

I had sudden inspiration for two new short stories that are really Murakami-esque. Only, I really need to finish my previous one first before embarking on a new one, or that will go down the drain too. I also recently began a new script entitled [Imagine], as a working title, and it has the girl who swears at the guy at the start. I have the feeling it will be good. Just that, I need time.

Oh cruddles, socdoc. Damn you people who have no time to grant an interview with us, we will STORM your headquarters next week if we have to. You know what, I think we will do just that. Muahahahaha.

***

Ok, math time. sorry for ranting.

What Is Up With Foreign Language

Somehow, nowadays everyone is using some obscure latin/french/russian/german/japanese phrase they learnt as an MSN nick. It is extremely...mysterious, for one thing that languages of a foreign persuasion appeal to us so much.

Ok, save for Chinese, which might have seemed exotic and awesome as Japanese had we not been brainwashed by MOE's chinese syllabus to scar us with horripibility forever.

But anyway yes, people are obssessed with random cool foreign phrases. I suppose it is because they are different, and therefore special and unique, and if you try it out, you will become unique and different too, depending on how well known the phrase is.

People all want to be different. To the point that indie music has become a mainstream of its own. Ok fine maybe not, but admittedly in the arts scene, every person listens to at least 5-10 indie artists an bloody well feels damn good about it. Mainstream music is still fine and all, and I do listen to it (damn you people with catchy beats) but indie will always rise above the rest as more artistically driven. Ok god knows why, but it just is.

Why are we so driven to be different though? I guess you could say that humans are afraid of coalescing as one with the general populace, becoming 'normal' and therefore, boring. If you're not the first person to discover a new up and coming band, or you're not the one dressing in skimpy beach attire in winter (ok that actually borders on crazy), then you're so mainstream that it hurts. It is like Nobody I guess, because it is so wildly popular and globalized, it is now being milked for all it's worth, the world tour, the dropping out of high school for So-hee and whatshername (it's just that I hear the names floating around so often they get stuck, like how I automatically associate Yubin with Daron)...it is a phenomena, and when it gets so old, so yesterday and when everyone is on about it, you want to stay away from the mainstream and discover something new, something wonderful, something that is actually better than NOBODY NOBODY BUTCHEW (which is a little difficult, considering how crazy everyone is over it).

Maybe we're trying too hard to stand out. Sometimes you have to be content with your popular status in the world. I've somewhat come to accept myself as "the one who doesn't speak to everyone on his MSN contact list, keeping to a select few he feels more comfortable with, and the one who does not possess 1001 friends on facebook". I am my own community, along with the rest of them, wherever you are, and maybe one day I will be low key to the point of operating a small town indie coffeehouse that does the most outrageous things within the building but remains all Bach's Air on the outside.

We are all special in our own right, and whether or not we were destined to be particularly different or just plain Janes, that's up to fate to decide really.

I'm not saying don't continue your Nobody/So Hot/Tell Me dances. It's perfectly fine. It's just that human phenomena is so fascinating. Psychology FTW!

There you go, we will be low key and normal and not care about being different. Ok we still do, but we won't kick up THAT big a fuss over it.

Don't Speak Math Unless You're Referring To Ellipses, It's Almost Fantasy How Dreamlike This Is

As was with with Metric's Fantasies and Regina Spektor's Far, which are both pretty good albums, I anxiously approach Imogen Heap's Ellipse.

***

The world is feeling a little tizzy. I mean it's tons of swirlyness and weirdom, andI'm kind of woozy from it all. It feels a little tiring actually. I've reached another day where I'm not sure what exactly is going on in life right now, and I need a little time to sort myself out. For one thing, SocDoc is a little crazy, what with everyone seeming to have forgotten about it and no interviews whatsoever, as well as a slew of new bio notes (Blastocysts and Totipotent cells, what? But such adorable names.) And the lack of having read my history notes yet. Ugh everything feels like a blur and I'm in a dream again.

One thing I am sure of however is that I do need to practice really hard for chinese by doing random zuo4wen2s all over the place and reading the dreaded du2zhe4, which isn't all that bad, save for the lack of time, or no lack of time wasting activities. Priorities Kree, that's what I need to start repeating as a personal mantra.

I'm not too worried about overall though. This term is set to look up and hopefully, it's going to continue into Term 4 (EoYs, gasp!) and definitely the HCL O levels. I am queasy but confident. Maybe I'm so confident I might puke. Ugh. *heaves*

***

Ok school stuff is boring. Let's talk about photography.

I really want to get an SLR of my own by the end of the year, but Dad is going NO, SOOOO EXPENSIVE, and anyway, doesn't your jiu4jiu4 have one he doesn't use anymore? You can play with it and figure out how to use one before getting one of your own. God, aren't you supposed to learn that after getting one? Nonetheless, it is a perfectly feasible option, plus, he has a tripod, so that makes things interesting.

One day I plan to do a photoshoot of mad teenagers rampaging into a department store and grabbing clothes off the shelves and changing speedily, such that they disappear in and out of the changing rooms and POSE FIERCELY. Whatever that means.

I've always wondered whether changing into drag is allowed in department stores. No really, I've always wondered. Like, imagine...well some guy you know, in a TopShop and fluttering out of the room in a scarlet red gown with black feather boa (make that a GIANT feather boa) and then he goes all *ping* and becomes a total queen. In a department stores. I'd need a backup photographer to help me record the bystanders' expressions.

Of course, I'd also love to try out film. Chances are my uncle also has a videocamera, but god knows. We'd probably film faux horror films like The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield and we'd just jerk the camera about and say 'Ohnoes a monster is after us help help help' *screen goes black and bloodcurdling scream is heard*

Well, it's a thought. Otherwise we could always do something like the opening scene of The Hours, it's lovely, where Nicole Kidman/Virginia Woolf commits suicide in the river. Except we'd go to the beach to do it. But it'd ruin a perfectly good dress (salt content + oil). And except that the oil would be icky and we wouldn't do it at all. Screw you Singapore Waters, we are so going to a random crater that filled with water to do this.

***

Ladyhawke is saving my soul from utter corruption and preserving my sanity by allowing me to do things in a trance like state. Indie music does that every once in a while I guess.

You Know When It's Time To Abuse The Torrents

OK GREG (Ng) HAS MADE ME REALISE JUST HOW UNINDIE I AM. AND AS SUCH IT IS TIME TO RAID THE SCARYGOROUND CHARTS so as to check out what is hot and what is not. Ok fine, tons of stuff out there, but it is a nice gauge as to what I should be downloading.

OHNOES TORRENT RAMPAGE MUCH.

Los Campesinos! has become an immediate favourite. They are like, so happy. It makes me happy. They are now my official HAPPY PEOPLE. And they will cheer me up even if it effing kills them. HURRAH FOR INDIENESS. IN GENERAL.

OKAY WHAT IS THIS CRAZY FILLER POST FOR. I DO NOT KNOW.

Maybe I am destressing.

But anyway yes, the indieness is piling up in my iTunes and eventually I will find time to listen to it all so YAY ME OK?

Ugh, rants.